Holy crap! I think I killed my baby!

After a difficult plane ride to WI and an exhausting week of car trips filled with screaming, I decided that something had to be done for the plane ride back to NY. MIL is a pediatric nurse so she suggested we give LM some benadryl to make her sleepy for the trip. That sounded fine since she had a cold anyway, maybe the meds would make her feel better as well as make her easier to deal with. MIL calculated the dosage based on LM's weight and we were good to go.

We had given her the Benadryl on Tuesday's car ride back from MN and it was a little better. She slept a lot of the car ride and there wasn't nearly as much fussing. So fast forward to Sat morning and we are waiting at the gate for our plane to board.

"Ok," Husband said,"we should give it to her now since it takes a bit to kick in."

And so we gave her the amount recommended by the medical professional and hoped that her cold wouldn't make this an even worse experience than the last time. We got on the plane and it took off. Everything was going smoothly, LM was getting sleepy, she hadn't cried during take-off and I was feeling optomistic!

Then, things took a turn for the worse. LM was asleep and she started coughing. The coughing led to gagging and soon I was covered in vomit. She had been eating during take-off to keep her ears from hurting so this wasn't that strange, but was certainly annoying given that I had to change my shirt. Luckily I had packed a little zippy sweatshirt. I left LM with Husband and walked down the aisle trying to hold my sweatshirt over my now puke covered right side when I encountered the dreaded beverage cart. Damn! I have to get through. The flight attendants were nice about it and tried to move over as much as possible to let my butt by. I finally got to the bathroom and changed my shirt. I went back to my seat (once again squeezing back between the beverage cart and other passengers' seats) and was happy to see LM sleeping peacefully on Husbands shoulder.

A few minutes later there was some more coughing, and gagging, and more vomit, which I luckily caught with a burp cloth since Husband did not have an extra shirt. LM was really out. each time she would throw up she wasn't really waking up and would pass back out right afterwards. I started to worry a little. Was she really sick? was the plane making her nauseaus? Then again! Cough, cough, and woosh...out came the larger gush of puke that has ever escaped the lips of a creature weighing 16 pounds!!! Holy crap! Husband and I both jumped back a little while Husband held a limp little monster in the air. I wiped furiously at the puke that was everywhere (even on the woman behind us - which I felt a little bad about, but at that moment, I just couldn't care).

My baby had just vomited enough to fill at least a pint glass (without even eating that much) and to top it off, we couldn't wake her up. we shook her gently, we called her name, we put ice on her lips and while she would react slightly (to the ice anyway) she would not open her eyes. I pulled up her eyelids an seeing that he eyes weren't rolling back in her head made me feel a teeny bit better, but not much. Her breathing seemed ok, but I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless. We were on a plane, if she stopped breathing we couldn't even take her to the hospital. Oh God! I was panicking. It must be the Benadryl, what if I've killed her. I was freaking out. tears were starting to form at the corners of my eyes and I just sat there watching her, making sure that her little chest was still going up and down. That was all I could do.

She didn't vomit again and after about 1/2 and hour - 45 minutes LM slowly opened her eyes an looked at me sleepily. I was so happy I can't even explain to you the feeling of relief that washed over me. I didn't kill my baby! Thanks to a God I don't really even believe in!!!

30 minutes later we were on the ground and LM was pretty much back to normal, although a little cranky because now she was hungry after puking shards of her pelvis onto mommy, daddy, and the lady in seat 5C (sorry again!)

It was quite an adventure. One that I hope to never repeat. I don't know if I have ever been that scared in my whole life.

And we're back folks!!!

Well here we are vacationing in the Midwest and we are doing our best to relax. Unfortunately, it is difficult to travel with a baby and I am trying to chill out as much as possible. Given that I haven't really had internet for the last few days this may be a long one.

We flew in Friday evening. LM was ok on the plane, but was restless and didn't want to go to sleep. We finally made it back to my parents house after about 2 hours of driving and listening to baby screams for a good 1/2 hour.


Saturday Morning we had brunch with family and friends at the restaurant where Husband and I used to work/met. The food was good and it was nice to be in the old neighborhood again. We saw lots of old friends/co-workers and it felt weird to be around people who are still doing the same thing and existing in a life that you left behind so long ago. It made m happy that my life has changed so much....like I'm on the right track and not just doing what's easy and comfortable. I am getting more and more excited about the move to Portland and I think both Husband and I are in need of a new chapter.

Later Saturday we left for Minneapolis to visit Husband's family at SIL's house. The trip was trying and LM was not having the car seat. She hasn't been in cars much in her 6 months of life, but still I was a little surprised at her fits. We finally arrived in Midwestern suburbia around 6pm and said our hellos to the whole fam. In the past SIL and I have had our issues, but for some reason she is much easier to deal with when her husband is around....he and I get along great and he is hilarious. How he deals with her, but as guru says, every pot has its lid.

Now that SIL is finally pregnant she is a little easier to be around (and I can stop feeling guilty that my ovaries work better than hers), but at the same time she is somewhat annoying with her pregnancy perfection. She is one of those people who follows every pregnancy warning religiously no matter how minuscule the risk and you have to know all about her sacrifice. I guess it is partly because it took her 2 years to get pregnant, but still....when added to her judgemental, OCD personality it gets a little overwhelming.

Conversation we had during her last visit to NYC:
SIL: "I'm hungry"

Husband: "There's a hot dog stand. You want a hotdog?"

SIL: "I can't eat hot dogs!"

Me: "Really? Why?

SIL: "My midwife told me not to eat them because of the risk of _____(some very rare condition/disease related to eating bad pork).

Me: "Really?! I never heard that. I ate many hot dogs when I was pregnant."

SIL (in snotty voice): "Well, I'm older than you are and it took me two years to get pregnant, so I do what my doctor tells me!!!"

ok! jesus! Now I'm supposed to feel bad that I was born after you (and decided to start my family before 30 while you spent your 20's drinking yourself into oblivion) and that I have super ovaries? And I especially like the insinuation that I don't do what my doctor tells me because I am such a reckless mother....maybe I should have my baby drink some hand sanitizer to keep her germ free!

Sorry about that little outburst.....as you can tell, I have a little pent up aggression about the situation.

Anyway, the visit in Minneapolis was fun overall and it was nice to have LM spend time with MIL and GMIL (who was meeting her for the first time). We left Minneapolis on Tuesday afternoon trying to outrun a large storm coming in. We didn't quite beat it and had to pull over at one point until the rain let up a little. Eventually we got back on road just in time for LM to wake up and scream for the next 30 minutes. We arrived back at my parents house in time for dinner and have been relaxing and eating our way through my home town....I know that it seems weird that living in NYC, I miss the food from a city with 250,000 people in it.

More to come...