Well, it's official. The bond that LM and I share over my sweater meat is over. I am actually more sad about it than I thought I would be. I will miss the morning cuddling while she has a snack and the instant need to be with me (and my boobs) when she hurts herself.
However, I will not miss her evil little teeth.
Now before I get hate mail about weaning my baby before she was 1, let me just let you all know that none of this was my doing. First I had a plugged milk duct which my milk supply never really recovered from. But did that deter us? Of course not! Then we stopped nursing to sleep (OK that was my doing mostly to keep my sanity because you can only have someone sucking on your tit for hours on end for so long...8 months was enough). After that we were still going strong during the day, nursing at least 4 or 5 times a day. Then LM just stopped asking for it as much. And pretty soon we were down to only nursing when she would wake up in the morning (and if she had caused herself to bleed). But at least we had the mornings....
The true death of the nursing came recently when the biting became unbearable (she has been biting me ever since she got teeth at 5 months, but that was tolerable). Anytime I try to nurse her she can't make it more than 5 seconds without biting the shit out of my nipples with her 8 teeth...yeah, 8! I tell her to stop and she laughs (I am aware that she is a little evil). then the cycle just starts over again, until I give up an go make her a bottle (go ahead bite the shit out of that!).
The last two days have been nothing but biting so I am putting my foot down and ending our lovely booby relationship. I think I would have put up with it longer if she was actually even nursing when she did it, but she really just starts right in on the biting and I just don't have time (or nipple toughness) to do it if she's not even going to focus.
Guess I get to reclaim the fun bags!
Showing posts with label Breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breastfeeding. Show all posts
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Where for art thou menstruation?
So LM was born 7.5 months ago and I breastfed full time until about 1.5 months ago whens we started adding solids to her diet. She now eats 3 solid meals a day and has 2 bottles (that I pump) and breast feeds a few times also (yeah, I know, she eats alot...girl's got her daddy's metabolism). So I would hazard to say that what I am doing would no longer ber considered full-time in the breastfeeding department. From what I know you generally have to be feeding/pumping every few hours to keep aunt flow at bay and I definitely have not been doing that so why, after 7 months am I still without my monthly reminder of why it sucks to have a vagina?
I don't get it. And I know what you are thinking....uh, you might be pregnant again. Now I understand why that vile idea passed through your head but you can forget it right now...I don't feel pregnant, I am losing weight (although slowly...5 pounds so far)...and I took a test and it was negative. so there). Anyone a doctor. I could go and see one, but since I don't really care for doctors, I am more likely to not go and just wait around wondering when I will again be shot in the twat (that may be a new one for some of you...take it. use it. love it. I know I do...see how it rhymes?)
I'm not all that worried to tell you the truth. More perplexed.
I don't get it. And I know what you are thinking....uh, you might be pregnant again. Now I understand why that vile idea passed through your head but you can forget it right now...I don't feel pregnant, I am losing weight (although slowly...5 pounds so far)...and I took a test and it was negative. so there). Anyone a doctor. I could go and see one, but since I don't really care for doctors, I am more likely to not go and just wait around wondering when I will again be shot in the twat (that may be a new one for some of you...take it. use it. love it. I know I do...see how it rhymes?)
I'm not all that worried to tell you the truth. More perplexed.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Dear Little Monster....
Dear Little Monster,
There are a few things that I wanted to discuss with you, but since you don't necessarily understand what I'm saying I thought I would write it down and make you read it when you are older to see how you have tormented me.
1. Please refrain from trying to crawl while nursing. This is quite uncomfortable for me and nipple aren't supposed to stretch that far. Also, diaper changing is a bad time to practice this.
2. Question. Do you have to make those weird grunts every time I feed you solids? Just wondering.
3. Please for the love of God could you sleep for more than 2 hours at a time (actually at this point I would take for more than an hour). You probably don't know this, but mommy is slowing going completely insane due to lack of sleep and frustration over not knowing what to do to convince you that sleep is....awesome. Seriously, I am really starting to lose it!
4. I know you want to play with Naughty Little Kitty, but I am sick of finding clumps of his hair in your fists....plus I think he's on to you. The fear of you has started to win against his pathetic need to be near me and he has started running away from you.
5. I know that you are really excited to walk, but maybe we should work on making this crawling thing happen first....what do you think?
6. When I am trying to get you to sleep why can I not sit down. I mean really, I don't see the difference. Either way you are draped over my shoulder and I am moving so do we have to stay in the position that is giving mommy scoliosis?
7. Why is your poo a different color ever day? And while we are on the topic, could you not stick your fingers in it when I am trying to change your diaper...thanks.
8. Could you let daddy know that when you are crying in the middle of the night and I say "it's your turn" and hit him, that doesn't mean "Please pick the baby up and put her in bed with me".
9. Just for good measure, please see #3 again.
There are a few things that I wanted to discuss with you, but since you don't necessarily understand what I'm saying I thought I would write it down and make you read it when you are older to see how you have tormented me.
1. Please refrain from trying to crawl while nursing. This is quite uncomfortable for me and nipple aren't supposed to stretch that far. Also, diaper changing is a bad time to practice this.
2. Question. Do you have to make those weird grunts every time I feed you solids? Just wondering.
3. Please for the love of God could you sleep for more than 2 hours at a time (actually at this point I would take for more than an hour). You probably don't know this, but mommy is slowing going completely insane due to lack of sleep and frustration over not knowing what to do to convince you that sleep is....awesome. Seriously, I am really starting to lose it!
4. I know you want to play with Naughty Little Kitty, but I am sick of finding clumps of his hair in your fists....plus I think he's on to you. The fear of you has started to win against his pathetic need to be near me and he has started running away from you.
5. I know that you are really excited to walk, but maybe we should work on making this crawling thing happen first....what do you think?
6. When I am trying to get you to sleep why can I not sit down. I mean really, I don't see the difference. Either way you are draped over my shoulder and I am moving so do we have to stay in the position that is giving mommy scoliosis?
7. Why is your poo a different color ever day? And while we are on the topic, could you not stick your fingers in it when I am trying to change your diaper...thanks.
8. Could you let daddy know that when you are crying in the middle of the night and I say "it's your turn" and hit him, that doesn't mean "Please pick the baby up and put her in bed with me".
9. Just for good measure, please see #3 again.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Drooling on the bar!
Tonight one of husband's office friends had a birthday party so we packed up LM and headed to the bar! Yes, we are those people who take their baby to the bar. It's not like we take her to the bar to just hang out or anything. She has been to a total of 3 bars in the 6 months that has been her life and they were all for some kind of event. Generally she is a big hit with the drunken co-eds/yuppies here in NYC and she loves the attention and hams it up! Near the end of the evening I accidentally knocked over someones beer (maybe I shouldn't have had that 10th shot of jagermeister!!). He seemed totally freaked out when I offered him one of our many burp cloths to wipe off his shoes with....dude, we wipe up puke with this. A little beer isn't gonna make much of a difference.
So I asked myself, how can I be even more offensive to those with fragile sensibilities that to have my baby in the bar? I know, I will breast feed my baby in the bar....without a blanket! OMG! No she didn't....oh yes I did! HA! Take that!
Sometime I wait for someone to say something snotty to me....like tell me I should do that in the bathroom (Do you feed your kids in the bathroom?) just so I can rip their heart out of their chest and feed it to my baby....a little too angry? Maybe.
But, no one said anything so LM had to do with just breast milk....maybe she can have heart tomorrow.
Tonight one of husband's office friends had a birthday party so we packed up LM and headed to the bar! Yes, we are those people who take their baby to the bar. It's not like we take her to the bar to just hang out or anything. She has been to a total of 3 bars in the 6 months that has been her life and they were all for some kind of event. Generally she is a big hit with the drunken co-eds/yuppies here in NYC and she loves the attention and hams it up! Near the end of the evening I accidentally knocked over someones beer (maybe I shouldn't have had that 10th shot of jagermeister!!). He seemed totally freaked out when I offered him one of our many burp cloths to wipe off his shoes with....dude, we wipe up puke with this. A little beer isn't gonna make much of a difference.
So I asked myself, how can I be even more offensive to those with fragile sensibilities that to have my baby in the bar? I know, I will breast feed my baby in the bar....without a blanket! OMG! No she didn't....oh yes I did! HA! Take that!
Sometime I wait for someone to say something snotty to me....like tell me I should do that in the bathroom (Do you feed your kids in the bathroom?) just so I can rip their heart out of their chest and feed it to my baby....a little too angry? Maybe.
But, no one said anything so LM had to do with just breast milk....maybe she can have heart tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
A Letter to my right breast.....
Right Breast I know that you are really great at producing milk, but you have to be sensitive to Left Breast's feelings.....LB already has a complex because you are bigger. When you produce
4.5 oz to LB's sad 2 oz, it's hard on her self esteem. Especially after the clogged milk duct incident, LB has been struggling to keep up. Keep that in mind is all I'm trying to say....with no hope of ever measuring up, I am afraid that LB might just give up all together.
Keep up the good work!
Right Breast I know that you are really great at producing milk, but you have to be sensitive to Left Breast's feelings.....LB already has a complex because you are bigger. When you produce
4.5 oz to LB's sad 2 oz, it's hard on her self esteem. Especially after the clogged milk duct incident, LB has been struggling to keep up. Keep that in mind is all I'm trying to say....with no hope of ever measuring up, I am afraid that LB might just give up all together.
Keep up the good work!
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Lo vs. Mastitis.
The pain in my breast took me by surprise. It seemed to come out of nowhere, along with the flu-like symptoms. Fever, chills, ugh...I felt like crap. The chills only lasted that one night blotchy red spots appeared on my breasts. The fever was mild, but persisted and then one night I was pumping for the sitter and puss (the doctor called it yellow discharge - which is a fancy name for puss in my book) came out of my nipple......eeeeek! Infected milk duct. Damn you breasts. Isn't breastfeeding full-time hard enough without this obstacle!? So I went to see the nurse practitioners and they said that since my fever was very borderline and the redness had gone away that they didn't want to give me antibiotics (which I appreciate). Her advice...have the baby nurse off of that breast as much as possible. But, but, that hurts nurse lady!
So that's what I did, nursed and nursed. And it is better, whoopee! Although my milk production seems to have slowed which is concerning. The little monster is still nursing full-time, but my breasts rarely feel full which is weird and I am having a harder time pumping out enough for the sitter.....alas. But we are working it out, hopefully the milk will come back soon.
The pain in my breast took me by surprise. It seemed to come out of nowhere, along with the flu-like symptoms. Fever, chills, ugh...I felt like crap. The chills only lasted that one night blotchy red spots appeared on my breasts. The fever was mild, but persisted and then one night I was pumping for the sitter and puss (the doctor called it yellow discharge - which is a fancy name for puss in my book) came out of my nipple......eeeeek! Infected milk duct. Damn you breasts. Isn't breastfeeding full-time hard enough without this obstacle!? So I went to see the nurse practitioners and they said that since my fever was very borderline and the redness had gone away that they didn't want to give me antibiotics (which I appreciate). Her advice...have the baby nurse off of that breast as much as possible. But, but, that hurts nurse lady!
So that's what I did, nursed and nursed. And it is better, whoopee! Although my milk production seems to have slowed which is concerning. The little monster is still nursing full-time, but my breasts rarely feel full which is weird and I am having a harder time pumping out enough for the sitter.....alas. But we are working it out, hopefully the milk will come back soon.
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