The Little Monster Loves Here Some Sweet Potato!

LM had her first big girl meal today and she loved every minute of it. Of course she looked like she had been playing paintball with swett potato mash afterwards, but she didn't seem to mind.
Recently she has been exhibiting all of the classic signs of wanting solid foods:
Watching intently when we eat, manipulating all manners of things into her mouth. trying to eat/suck milk out of all manner of inanimate objects. A few weeks ago we let her suck on some watermelon and she was quite pleased so we decided it might be time to let her start experimenting.

Lately she has been somewhat cranky. I thought it might be her teething kicking into high gear (and it still may be) but today grandma was watching her and she was a crank-monster. She sucked down her bottle and was nowhere near full so grandma decided to try out the baby food in the cupboard...and voila. Happy baby. Apparently she did the quiver-lip face everytime the spoon was taken away. That continued until she figured out that Grandma was going to give her more each time she took the spoon away. Now she seems to be the happiest baby on earth....

Moral of the story....I was apparently starving my baby. Just kidding, but it is nice to know that she really just wants more food. Must be going through a growth spurt.

Lo vs. the day...

8:00am:
Wake up to alarm going off. Hit snooze as many times as possible while cuddling with baby who squirms around ruining extra sleep time. Get up and turn off alarm. Change diaper and greet visiting mother who is sleeping across the room (yeah we live in a studio it is awesome for entertaining guests). Hand over baby so I can go to the bathroom. Think about my day. Realize I am out of soda which makes me sad.

8:30am:
Get baby ready for day with Grandma. Get obligatory "why are you moving so far away" guilt trip. Realize that is only one of many to come. Feel defeated. Get dressed. Realize I have not lost any more baby weight when pre-pregnancy pants still fee too tight. Feel defeated. Plan to eat better.

9:00am
Grab mail on way out the door. Open jury duty summons. Curse our justice system. Leave baby with Grandma. Think how I would rather spend the day with them than go to work and sit at my desk all day. Buy soda and bagel with cream chesse from street vendor.

10:00am:
Learn that husband has to work until 9pm tonight for some work function. Realize sister in law will be at apartment without husband and with my mother. Feel defeated. Hear that friends from Boston might come up next weekend. Realize that Mother in Law will also be here then. Feel overwhelmed.

11:00am:
Start to get hungry and contemplate eating bagel and cream cheese.

Awesome day!

Baby suicide attempt #1

So LM has officially decided to try every method she can think of to kill herself.

Last night I awoke to find her on her belly on the floor. Now realize that I did not leave her on the floor (I promise) when I went to sleep so I must infer that she flung herself there in an attempt to injure herself (and/or make me feel like a horrible parent) or make a run for it.

Don't worry, she did not succeed in harming herself (not that I didn't psychotically check though). All appendages and skull bones are intact and she was her usual happy self this morning.

Moral of the story...we can no longer trust LM with her own well-being. She has now imprisoned herself behind the iron straps of both the swing and the stroller. she has no one but herself to blame...ok, maybe me, a little.

In other news, naughty little jealous kitty has been following me around all morning. He certainly likes it when I am not holding the baby. although, even if I am that doesn't always stop him from trying to edge his way in and sit on my lap.

Happy Friday - 3-day weekend ahead...yipee!!!

It's official...we are blowing this pop stand!

We have had enough of NYC and have decided to move to Portland, OR within the next year. Obviously we are not just going to pick up and go, but we have both decided that we do not wish to continu at our current jobs and NYC is too expensive to raise a family in (unless you have a bazillion dollars, which we don't).

The new dream is to move to Portland and first buy a house, then open an organic bakery where I can live out my days baking cookies and getting fat - cause nobody trusts a skinny baker....I know I wouldn't ;)

I will keep you updated.

Happy mother's day....

Didn't really do anything on Mother's day itself, but the monday after husband and I both took the day off from work and went and got a couple's massage (his company had given him the gift certificate so it was even better because it was a free massage). This place was totally swanky and my midwestern sensibilities were feeling a little awkward. After changing into your robe you are escorted into the "relaxation library" where some poor soul is in charge of getting you magazines and beverages. After some time to relax, they escort you into yout massage room and make you eat honey (don't ask me, I don't have a clue). Then you get your massage - which was nice of course. Then back to the library 0f relaxation until you are ready to go bck and take a shower and change. Now this may sound normal to those of you who are from NYC, but us simple folk, this is how we do a massage:

You go in meet the massage therapist. They leave. You undress and get under cover. They come back. The massage you. they leave. you get dressed. Pay. leave all covered and oil and half falling over from joy....That's what I'm used to so husband and I both felt a little weird, although I gotta say it's nice to take a shower afterwards.
I thing the thing I felt worst about was that there was always an attendant to help you do everything (it's funny how the rich, like small children, always need help accomplishing simple tasks. I don't like being served food and beverage unless I am in a restaurant. And, thank you lady, but it makes me feel uncomfortable that you are going to help me in the locker room...I think I can find the soap, thanks...oh, God please save me from the decadence. I am a simple girl...can't escape it.

After the massage we went to Rosa Mexicano to eat, which was SUPER GOOD! I love that place and want to go back soon. Then came the cherry on top of our ice cream sundae day...we say Billy Connelley and Kate Mulgrew (aka Capt. Janway of the USS Voyager just bummin around town...gotta love NYC.

The little monster is 5 months old....

She recently had a check-up and weighed in at 14lb 10 oz. Plus she is 25 whole inches long. Crazy to think that she has doubled her weight from when she was born, although I guess I shouldn't be surprised since she has been draining me nutrients every chance she gets.

In honor of her fifth month, I thought I would give everyone a little glimpse into a day in little monster land.

New favorite activities:

1. Jumping in the Jumperoo...man she could at this all day
2. Checking herself out in the mirror and giving herself kisses
3. making fart noises with her mouth (aka raspberies or sherberts and spitting in everyone's face).
4. chewing on her new chew-toy (some people call them teethers, but I call them chew toys)Dalton the gay pride lion (he has a rainbow mane).

Least favorite activities:

1. Getting shots at the doctor's office....damn that man and his needles.
2. watching mommy pump breast milk - she looks at me like I have totally betrayed her..."where are you going with all my food mommy? Those are mine damnit!"



Newest Achievments:

1. Rolling over -the little monster is rolling over pretty well by herself these days (this of course spells disaster for my leaving her alone on the bed for hours at a time - I kid, I kid).

2. Eating real food - while little monster still eats only breast milk we have begun introduction little tastes of food to her to see what she is interested in. She seems to be totally intrigues by anything we put in our months, especially if it is shiny (like a pop can). So far she has tasted watermelon, which she sucked the juice out of (since she is still toothless) and seemed to enjoy it.

3.Standing - LM can now stand with very little assitance. I am concerned that she may skip crawling all together since she doesn't care for being one her tummy too much and is making very little crawling progress, but she might just bust out crwling one day (or walking I guess).

4. Feet Rock! The L to the M has officially discovered her feet and she thinks they are pretty nifty. See picture attached.


Family news in general:

1. We have made 2 very failed attempts at letting her "cry it out" when she wakes up at night. Man has she got us pegged. That girl can cry for way longer than I thought possible for someone that tired...you'd think she would just give it up and fall asleep, but nooooooooo. For now we are going to just see if you gets better as she gets older. That, or we will sleep when she goes away to collge.

2. We are making plans to leave NYC. We are traveling first to WI (for a short stay) and then to Portland, OR. Not sure exactly when we will be putting this plan into action (either August 2007 or Jan 2008 - we change our minds every day), but we will keep everyone informed.

3. We are unfortunately in babysitter flux. We are in the process of negotiating full-time terms with our current sitter. Watchin' babies is quite a racket, especially here in NYC. They want paid vacation and sick days and on and on and on....craziness, but we love her (and so does LM) so we will do what we can to keep her.


Now for everyone's favorite segment....What I think is going through LM's mind!

Setting the scene: I'm eating/drinking (anything really) and being stared at intensely - she will often stop jumping to just stare at me while I eat my cereal. Honestly it's creeping me out.
-----"Hey, what are you eating? Can I have some of that....hey, hey, come and give me
some woman! "------

Setting the scene: We are out eating at a restaurant (on this particular occassion we are eating on an outforr patio where people are walking by).
------"Watch this. If I smile at passersby and look extra cute then they will stop and hover over mommy and daddy while they try to stuff their faces full of whatever that stuff is they're eating...it's hilarious. Ahhhh yes, come over here old lady and tell me how cute I am...that's it, c'mon everyone I am awaiting my praise! " --------
Meanwhile husband and I are trying not to feel completely weirded out by the people hanging around our table while we try to eat lunch...Always a good time.

Things I have learned from being a mother:

1.Having a baby is apparently a free pass for all people (no matter how strange) to come up and talk to you....anyone who knows me knows I generally prefer to be invisible - NYC used to be good for that - my friend says the same thing happens to her when she has her little dog with her...good to know! Note to self: do not get a dog while we have a baby.

2. Drool feels really gross when it goes into your ear.

3. Getting someone else's vomit on your face is the only thing worse than having your own vomit on your face.

4. You can only take so much before any person with 2 arms (I suppose this is optional too) and no criminal record sounds like a super babysitter.

5. All that extra special baby stuff you thought you needed before she was born...yeah, you didn't need that. Most of the time she just wants to play with her socks...or your face - the claw my eyes out with you dagger-like talons is an awesome game.

6. Do not stop in front of the Gristedes (grocery store for those of you not in NYC) with the baby and wait for Husband to run inside! Within minutes you will be surrounded by very odd people all wanting to smile at, play with , and touch your baby while telling you their life story about how they have to turn in "paperwork" (still not sure why I needed to know this about the sweet little old black lady) and telling you that you wiill have to "lock her up" because she is so pretty (this is actually a very common statement and usually comes from men which I find creepy for some reason).


So, that's what I have for you for now...the little monster is growing bigger by the minute and she cracks me up constantly.

Hey there strange person....let's have a conversation.

What is it about having a baby that makes other people think that they should talk to you and comment extensively about your offspring, or that you are interested in their lives/children, etc.?
I am not trying to b a scrooge here, but it makes me uncomfortable sometimes just how much attention my child draws to me. I like NYC because we are all rather inconspicuous and no one is particularly interested in what anyone else is doing (so long as that something isn't interfering with your day), but my relative obscurity has dissaeared since I had the little monster. Husband has noticed this as well and we are both somewhat disturbed by it. Sometimes I feel like I am wearing a sign that says, "hey there, please come over here and leer at my child while you talk to us about whatever is on your mind, especially if you are weird! Oh, and by the way, feel free to touch my infant if you want." What is it? Does my having a child give you the instant freedom to bother me and touch my baby, something that gets me every time. It's the same thing that happens to pregnant women....so because I am growing a human in my belly, it's ok for you to touch me in a way that could be considred assault if I weren't knocked up? I mean really would you go up to a stange woman and touch her stomach if there wasn't a baby in there....NO OF COURSE NOT! So why is it suddenly ok? Women often feel like they lose ownership of parts of their bodies when they are pregnat/mothers so please don't make that worse.

Anyway, I digress. I don't need you to tell me that my child is going to be a boy-magnet when she is older (that's a little creepy), yes I know she is attractive, but given that she is only 4 months old, why don't we wait a little while before we sexualize her...thnaks. Also I know it doesn't seem like it at the time, but making jokes about stealing someone's baby aren't funny, neither are jokes about eating her toes or biting her butt ( I swear to god, perfet strangers). Maybe I am just being a bitch about this, but c'mon, I didn't have a baby so that other people would bother me 24/7. For instance, if I am sitting somewhere eating with husband and the littl monster, please don't hand out and hover over our table while we chew so you can fawn over the baby. She might smile at you, but that doesn't mean you're special...she smiles at everyone.
Sorry, I went on a little rant there, but jesus! My friend has informed me that she has the same thing happen to her when she walkes her little french bulldog...I guess having a dog or a baby makes you fair game.

Lo vs. Baby weight!

Yeah, so , I have a new nemesis.....my baby weight. Now I am by no means one of those people who think that women should be slender Goddesses 2 weeks aftr giving birth (or ever really) but it has been almost 5 months now and I feel like I haven't lost any of the weight...on top of that, some of the clothes I wore early in my pregnancy don't fit now, which frightens me! To think, could I be bigger than I was pregnant? It baffles the mind! Anyway, I have officially started a "diet". I say "diet" because I don't believe in denying myself food in order to lose weight, nor following ridiculous programs that make food the enemy; what I am doing is trying to cut out the obscene amount of sugar that I have been eating and eating slightly smaller portions. I hope that by doing this I will slowly return to my pre-pregnancy size. I am not particularly obsessed with my weight (in fact I don't even own a scale), but I want my clothes to fit again. It's bad enough that I can hardly wear any of my shirts (given the enormous breasts) but now none of my pants fit either an dit is distressing.

Anyway, I will give updates on my progress here and hopeully I will be a happy camper soon.

Lo vs. Mastitis.
The pain in my breast took me by surprise. It seemed to come out of nowhere, along with the flu-like symptoms. Fever, chills, ugh...I felt like crap. The chills only lasted that one night blotchy red spots appeared on my breasts. The fever was mild, but persisted and then one night I was pumping for the sitter and puss (the doctor called it yellow discharge - which is a fancy name for puss in my book) came out of my nipple......eeeeek! Infected milk duct. Damn you breasts. Isn't breastfeeding full-time hard enough without this obstacle!? So I went to see the nurse practitioners and they said that since my fever was very borderline and the redness had gone away that they didn't want to give me antibiotics (which I appreciate). Her advice...have the baby nurse off of that breast as much as possible. But, but, that hurts nurse lady!
So that's what I did, nursed and nursed. And it is better, whoopee! Although my milk production seems to have slowed which is concerning. The little monster is still nursing full-time, but my breasts rarely feel full which is weird and I am having a harder time pumping out enough for the sitter.....alas. But we are working it out, hopefully the milk will come back soon.

The little monster threw up on my face today. Need I say more? I am having a super day!