Blah!

LM was up half of the night with a fever. I am exhausted. LM is finally sleeping and Husband and I are going to watch "The Number 23". Sorry I am not more entertaining tonight.

Yesterday was check-up with pediatrician. LM got shots again (hence the fever - fuckers!) and she weighs 16lbs 14oz and is 27inches long. Of course the pediatrician had to look at the averages chart to check her percentiles for weight and length to be able to state the obvious - "She's tall and thin"....Uh , yeah like her father, you could have just looked at her to figure that one out.

Doctors....

They want me to bring her back at 9 months (although we won't be in the state anymore so that's not gonna happen) to do some blood work - apparently they check for anemia. Why would LM be anemic. Does she exhibit anemic symptoms....no, then why should I come back and pay you money so you can stick her with more needles and then charge me for the lab costs just so you can tell me she isn't anemic....gee thanks for not fucking me big time there Doc. I was hoping to shell out a bunch a money so you can tell me there's nothing wrong with my kid. Oh and when I want a copy of the chart please charge me $25 and tell me it will take a week....awesome! Must be on some damn fine paper to cost $25 and you must send it out special just for me to make it take a week to photocopy something....ugh!


Sorry, I am cranky today!

Glory be to the sleep gods!!

Miracle of miracles, the little monster slept all the way through the night last night...I would like to say that it was a great night of sleep for me, but instead I was waking up every couple hours confused and startled because she wasn't in the bed. But it was nice to wake up and be able to roll over and go back to sleep in any position I wanted without rolling on the baby.

Lets hope this continues.

According to the guru (if you don't know to what I am referring check out this post. and this one.) LM is too old not to be sleeping through the night....uh, she's 6 months old guru! "Yeah, I was very strict with my kids. I would put them in their beds and walk away!"

That would be nice, but I don't have anywhere to walk away to...I live in a 550 sq. foot studio. (In my head) And I don't parent that way. and I'm not taking parenting advice from someone who fed infants jello!

"Well you just aren't feeding her enough."

She eats all the time. We feed her whenever she is hungry.

"Well she needs more food. Not just milk"

SHE'S 6 MONTHS OLD!!!! Babies can live on breast milk alone for a year. If only the cave women had had jello...everything would have been much better.

Breeding and Baby's first, uh....jello?

Discussions turn - as they always do - to if/when we are going to have another kid. Personally I would like to wait until the one I haev is done breastfeeding before I pop out another crotch fruit, but that is just me. So the other day I was having this conversation with "nutrition guru" from this post and it went something like this:

Me: I just can't imagine taking care of an infant while trying to deal with a two year old! Babies need so much of your attention.

Guru: Well, you just don't hold the second one as much....or play with it or anything....

Me: (In my head) Great, so I can have a second kid so I can ignore it! (Out loud) Right!

That Guru, she is just a wealth of knowledge. Most recently she suggested that LM's first food should be jello because it is easy for the to eat and melts in their mouth. Awesome! I was just thinking that my so far completely natural babies first food should be pure sugar and gelatin....

"Children might beat the subway, but the subway beats women..."

This is a great article from babble... And so true! I tell you I think I was only offered a seat twice and it wasn't until I was as big as a house. And if I remember correctly, it was an older woman and an asian man....

But my favorite is that I have ridden the subway with my daughter in a sling and people will make me stand up holding her....ugh!

http://www.babble.com/content/articles/features/personalessays/Harris/Subway/index.aspx

And just to comment on the "being afraid that they really aren't pregnant" thing is generally bull. If I am slender everywhere else, but it looks like I shoved a beach ball into my shirt....it's a pretty safe bet that I'm expecting.

Just one more reason why men should not be running the planet....and why clearly everyone should carry around a semi-automatic weapon!!!

This little slice of ridiculousness was brought to my attention by the writer of death Wears a Feathered Mullet who is one funny motherf@#*er..... But seriously folks, aren't there more important things to worry about then who gets to go first at a 4-way stop....I always knew those things were trouble.

http://wave3.com/Global/story.asp?S=6605053&nav=0RZG

I don't even know what to say......

http://www.gawker.com/news/rubbing-against-the-bottom-of-the-barrel/today-show-softcore-milf-stripper-pole-porn-264217.php


Honestly, I'm speechless!

Conversation I had today:

me: "Little Monster had her first real food yesterday. we gave her sweet potatoes and she really liked it."

woman at work: "why didn't you give her cereal? It has vitamins in it and babies like it (not a question...an accusation)."

me: "real food has vitamins too and LM really liked her sweet potatoes."

w.a.w: "Why didn't you give her cereal? Everybody starts with cereal."

Me (in my head): of course I should always do what the general public does....that's never backfired. Next week we're giving her avocados, so there. (out loud): "Anyway...wanna see a picture?"

Gotta love unsolicited advice/opinions.

Holy crap! Is that my vagina?

Looking through pictures I stumbled upon the shots of the little monster's birth. GOOD GOD! I thought, is that my vagina. I'm rather partial to my girl parts and seeing them being so mistreated made me throw up in my mouth a little. Now, realize, I am not at all squeamish, but the sight of horribly painful things happening to your body can be disconcerting. Yes, we have all seen the quasi-national geographic video of women from the 70's giving birth, but that is not me....that's them.
Some babies are born with funny shaped heads. I argue that this is the result of the vagina's refusal to distort itself to such extremes. This is even more amazing to me since the little monster was born with an "abnormally perfect" head, which means my poor vagina made no refusals...what a trooper!

Also, I was amazed at how smushy the little monster's head really was....

Lo vs. the day...

8:00am:
Wake up to alarm going off. Hit snooze as many times as possible while cuddling with baby who squirms around ruining extra sleep time. Get up and turn off alarm. Change diaper and greet visiting mother who is sleeping across the room (yeah we live in a studio it is awesome for entertaining guests). Hand over baby so I can go to the bathroom. Think about my day. Realize I am out of soda which makes me sad.

8:30am:
Get baby ready for day with Grandma. Get obligatory "why are you moving so far away" guilt trip. Realize that is only one of many to come. Feel defeated. Get dressed. Realize I have not lost any more baby weight when pre-pregnancy pants still fee too tight. Feel defeated. Plan to eat better.

9:00am
Grab mail on way out the door. Open jury duty summons. Curse our justice system. Leave baby with Grandma. Think how I would rather spend the day with them than go to work and sit at my desk all day. Buy soda and bagel with cream chesse from street vendor.

10:00am:
Learn that husband has to work until 9pm tonight for some work function. Realize sister in law will be at apartment without husband and with my mother. Feel defeated. Hear that friends from Boston might come up next weekend. Realize that Mother in Law will also be here then. Feel overwhelmed.

11:00am:
Start to get hungry and contemplate eating bagel and cream cheese.

Awesome day!