Dear Little Monster....

Dear Little Monster,

There are a few things that I wanted to discuss with you, but since you don't necessarily understand what I'm saying I thought I would write it down and make you read it when you are older to see how you have tormented me.

1. Please refrain from trying to crawl while nursing. This is quite uncomfortable for me and nipple aren't supposed to stretch that far. Also, diaper changing is a bad time to practice this.

2. Question. Do you have to make those weird grunts every time I feed you solids? Just wondering.

3. Please for the love of God could you sleep for more than 2 hours at a time (actually at this point I would take for more than an hour). You probably don't know this, but mommy is slowing going completely insane due to lack of sleep and frustration over not knowing what to do to convince you that sleep is....awesome. Seriously, I am really starting to lose it!

4. I know you want to play with Naughty Little Kitty, but I am sick of finding clumps of his hair in your fists....plus I think he's on to you. The fear of you has started to win against his pathetic need to be near me and he has started running away from you.

5. I know that you are really excited to walk, but maybe we should work on making this crawling thing happen first....what do you think?

6. When I am trying to get you to sleep why can I not sit down. I mean really, I don't see the difference. Either way you are draped over my shoulder and I am moving so do we have to stay in the position that is giving mommy scoliosis?

7. Why is your poo a different color ever day? And while we are on the topic, could you not stick your fingers in it when I am trying to change your diaper...thanks.

8. Could you let daddy know that when you are crying in the middle of the night and I say "it's your turn" and hit him, that doesn't mean "Please pick the baby up and put her in bed with me".

9. Just for good measure, please see #3 again.